I suck at posting and I know that much. I keep on saying that I’ll update this thing with something meaningful, that I’ll write something out about what happened in my past and I still haven’t done it, that was over a month ago.
Work keeps me occupied, the few friends I have keep me occupied and I’m currently on a ten minute wait until I have to get out and catch my bus so I do have to keep this post short though I will be trying to write down something to fill in the gaps, really.
I can’t promise, but I’ll try.
On December I found myself on the operating table (the day following my birthday) for a bit of internal clean up. I had issues with cysts, adherence and other evil, womanly stuff. So they cleaned me up, I was on a two week convalescence break, though it didn’t change much for the sake that I hadn’t found work yet at that point.
In the middle of January I did start to work for my current company and it was a lot to learn about. More about this in another post soon, here again, no promise but I will try.
Since the operation, I’ve had three shots of hormonal crap that pretty much makes it so that my hormones are null, essentially menopause. The first two months were fine, heat flashes on the evenings but I could live with that. The third month was hell, I had heat flashes in the mornings, afternoons, evenings, at night. The ones at night were hard to deal with as I have a tendency for having issues falling back asleep once I’m awake.
Issue being, that despite my hormones being at the zero bar, I still had monthly issues. Once a month, in a very timely manner that it happened at about the same time each time, I would wake up once in the middle of the night, doubled over, in pain (the first reason why I went on the table in the first place) and I had to get myself to the bathroom to empty myself with the means of a very uncomfortable diarrhea.
Now my OB/Gyn seems to believe that this shouldn’t happen since my hormones are flat as a pancake so I’m currently waiting on getting an appointment with the gastroenteric folks people to find out what’s wrong with the stomach area.
Doubt found its way into my along with a fair dose of fear as mom reminded me with some chagrin that on my father’s side, my grandmother had to have a part of her colon removed because she had issues, which is why she’s on a bag now. Craps in that bag and all.
The idea of having a bag attached on.. it terrifies me. While I’m fine with the idea of going through the big operation, the idea of being on a bag at such a young age, it terrifies me to no end.
So all I can do currently is cross my fingers and hope that it’s something that can be fixed in some way, without there needing to be itty pieces cut out of me. I can’t really afford to not go to work and I can’t afford to lose my job if I have to be on another semi-lengthy convalescence break.
I think that’ll do for now.. I’ll try for more after I get back home tonight.
Well wishes to anyone who reads this and have a good day out there.
P.S. I’m also realizing I’m going to have to rethink my categories.. later, later.
