where will it be found?

Life usually had its way, Quentin found out, to help things along, to ease them up to the pace they should have had to reach a certain goal or destination, when it wanted to.

Things had been rough, uncertain really, since he had first moved out of his old apartment and into the remodelled warehouse. They had, for a brief moment or so, gotten less so when Yael had moved in with him though it hadn’t lasted, by no fault of theirs. It had taken some months then, for the mistrust to slowly fade again, for that happiness that Quentin so very badly longed for to make an appearance again.

He ‘blamed’ this slowly blossoming happiness on a dress neither one of them had ordered. You really couldn’t begin to imagine where happiness could be found and at times it was in the simplest of things.

No one had been forced to wear the dress (though it had been shipped to Yael’s name! and did fit him perfectly fine as if he’d been measured for it) but it had happened, an evening out had been had, just the two of them having a good laugh but there had been something else there, something in Yael’s eyes that had been hard to ignore.

Quentin had noticed that look almost immediately when the other demon had moved in with him but he had ignored it, hadn’t really wanted to pay attention to it. It would have meant things he had been less than ready to face just yet. At first he had only wanted Yael about for the sake of not being alone, for the sake of being near someone who was like him in some way, so that he wouldn’t have to be about humans for the rest of his life.

He couldn’t explain why Yael felt any sort of affection for him, he hadn’t done much of anything—that he could see at that point—to earn that kind of thing. Sure, offering the other a steady roof over his head for nearly nothing at all (barely a tenth of the living cost he could cover more than comfortably by himself) when he hadn’t had one hadn’t seen like much before but perhaps now it made some sense.

Quentin stopped thinking in terms of ‘well he must feel that way because I did this’ a few days after the dress incident. It hadn’t been fair to believe that all that made Yael who he was and what he did was based on the fact that he was thankful and offering back something for the sake of having a roof over his head.

Their shared happiness came in little boxes and at times bigger ones, most of them unexpected but some were planned. One evening, after a particularly bad day of sleep where nightmares had plagued him in ways they hadn’t in some time, he woke up to the smell of breakfast being prepared, or perhaps it had been just done then. He hadn’t asked Yael if he’d done it because of the tossing, turning and whimpering he knew he did as he had nightmares or merely because he had felt like preparing them a shared breakfast, it would have ruined the gentle bit of peace he felt as he finally left his room and the nightmares back for the next few hours.

The night as a whole proved to be filled to the brim with little things, a delivery for more art materials, that new comforter that wouldn’t so much smell of his past, that television set Yael had managed to convince him would actually be a good add-on in their living room.

Just before morning light broke, Yael had put in an old movie to play and they had settled to watch it with all curtains drawn so they could have proper ambiance. It was in black and white and Quentin found himself with so many questions he hadn’t known where to start but he kept them to himself, just watching, listening. They had begun watching the movie on either side of the couch but by the middle of it, they had somehow gravitated towards one another and were sitting shoulder to shoulder.

It was when the credits began to roll and Quentin made to move to get up so they could go to bed that he realized Yael had drifted off, the young man’s face nestled against his shoulder and he felt something flutter sharply in his stomach. It was so strange, so warm! He didn’t have the heart to move the other despite knowing full well that he could have gotten away with it. He was strong enough but Yael was everything but a deep sleeper.

Instead, Quentin turned the television off and shifted just so, making himself comfortable and trying to make sure Yael was just as comfortable. The warmth persisted in him and he closed his eyes, breathing in slowly to let it out just the same. It really was strange, the places where happiness, the simplest of forms of it, could be found. He couldn’t have found it in himself to complain about how his day had gone. A few more of those and he knew his life would get easier, it was just how it felt at that point.

When he woke up, he still found himself settled comfortable, calm and peaceful with Yael settled against him. Breathing was slow and steady. The television was off, there was nothing for anyone to worry about and he didn’t feel any clawing need to get away from the situation in which he currently was.

He was trying to understand how it was that he felt at such peace with the other against him. Perhaps it was that they were similar. Both demons by blood but it hardly would make sense in the long run. It was hardly because he was similar to Yael that he felt the need to grow closer, to know better, to learn more. He supposed it didn’t change much in the long run. So long as his life could take on an easy sort of sway.

He let his gaze drift about slightly and he still could see the light peering somewhat from behind heavy curtains. He hadn’t sleep all that much. He didn’t feel much of a need to drift back to rest again but he stayed where he was. He would until Yael shifted and woke, moved away first. It seemed the better plan. No point in waking the other up before he was ready to be up and about.


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