essence of __________

The kitchen is a rightful mess and I’m not sure which one of us started the whole thing. Not that it would do us any good (or any harm honestly) to point fingers. There is flour everywhere and I think there’s a whole bottle of vanilla essence, though it might be almond just the same, on the counter. The scent of it is pretty strong but I can’t really tell at this point. I’ve been stuffed up with a cold or it’s the pollen that’s been out and about with the flowers of springs blossoming that’s stuffed me up this way. Yael seems to be the same way lately, with the stuffed nose and the reddened eyes and the rest.

This room though, I’m not even sure what we were trying to prepare, all I know at this point is that there’s a mess and no Yael in sight to help me clean it up. I’ll get back to him before too long. Strange that I’ve begun thinking like that. I guess I’m less of a cold asshole and more of a somewhat kinder, more open spirit, at least with him.

We didn’t even have a book open or a paper for a recipe, though it didn’t much start as we, it started as Yael in the kitchen preparing something and when I walked by he asked if I felt like helping him. Something about how it wasn’t a complex recipe but it was something he was wanting to try so I figured it might not hurt to give it a go.

From there I guess things just sort of went to hell, sort of. There was flour flinging and sugar flinging and we were both laughing our heads off so maybe not so much going to hell as just got messy. I can live with messy even if I have to clean it up after.

Cleaning up took a few hours, during which Yael did come by though he only helped a little and stepped back out again. I don’t mind so much, he suddenly looked tired and I didn’t want to ask him or to pry at that point, it wasn’t the point. First the kitchen and then anything else that might need done.

When it was as clean as it would get—that is, still smelling of either too strong vanilla or almond but otherwise spotless—I did seek him out, see if he was alright. I found him sprawled on his bed, something I wasn’t used to seeing him do at this hour, and he was fast asleep so I merely closed his curtains, tucked him in some and closed his door. I wasn’t about to do anything that would be loud or disturbing but if he was asleep now, it was more than likely because he needed it and that’s all I needed to know.

I twiddled my thumbs for a while, not feeling like reading, writing or weaving.

I’d done a lot of reading recently, trying to read myth books and books on demons, hoping maybe to find a bit more about myself but I’d discovered that the only way I’d really get anything out of anyone or anybook about myself, would be to find someone else who was like me and I didn’t know where to look. I’d done some writing and I had hated what I’d written down so that too was out of the question. Weaving, well I just had little to no inspiration currently, it was usually Yael who gave me all my ideas.

So I flopped onto the living room couch and I closed my eyes. I wasn’t tired, restless really and I was on my feet just a few minutes later, wandering left and right as quietly as I could. What was it that I usually did before, when I was all on my own, before Yael became a steady part of my life? I used to wander, I used to read (which I had no desire for!), I used to brood.

A walk wouldn’t kill me, so I located my coat, did leave a note, just in case and I headed outside. The nights still were somewhat cool so the coat was a bit of a necessity but I wore it unzipped, merely shouldered as I walked away from home and off towards the nearest park. At this hour I knew it would be empty, I knew that most flowers would not welcome me with wide open faces and arms and that, perhaps, was for the best. I didn’t really need to start sneezing my head off again.

The park was a beautiful place to be at, in the middle of the night. It had only a few street lights and they were far and few in-between. If you wanted to see where you were going, you had to either bring a light of your own, or go wandering when the moon was full and the sky was clear. I had the moon on my side and the sky was mostly clear. That and I was so used to living in the darker hours of the day that I could see well enough in this mostly lack of light, it was perfect.

I found one of the benches, settled and closed my eyes. I wouldn’t sleep here, of course not. But I would relax, listened to my surroundings, to the quiet of the night, the slight rustle of the branches as leaves began to open themselves to the new life that awaited them. I’d move from my spot only when that restlessness that had followed me from home would leave me.

It must have taken a couple of hours, the sky was beginning to pale in the distance when I opened my eyes again. There still was not a single soul out and about but I could see the surroundings better. I moved to my feet, stretched and started on the way back home. Hopefully the sleep Yael had managed to get, had been peaceful without anything to wake him up. Maybe I’d prepare him something to snack on and leave it on the counter for him to have when he’d wake up.

It was likely he’d be up during the day at that point, considering how much of his night he’d slept away but I hardly minded. It was his own life, he could sleep the hours he wanted and be awake when he felt like it. I wasn’t about to force him to live with my own hours because I was used to living during the night where it was quieter. At least here, in this little bit of just-outside-the-city life we had. If we’d been anywhere else, where the night life was more active than the day-time life, I would more than likely have seen to living during the day, I guess I’m just that anti-social.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s