the color yellow

One of Yael’s favourite colour is yellow. Or well, gold, depending on the possibility of things being gold instead of yellow. Like yellow flowers, yellow paint, gold jewellery though I’ve never actually seem him wear any as of yet. That’s aside the point, I know. When he first accepted the whole idea I had of moving in with me, of accepting to have a roof over his head that was more permanent that temporary, he asked if, once the snow cleared from our own roof, he could set up something in there.

I own the whole building, we’re the only ones in here at this point so I didn’t see the issue and if it made him happy then it was all the better. The snow’s been gone for a couple of weeks but he’s been so busy doing I’m not sure what that I decided I was going to start up this setting-up a garden spot on the roof for him.

I figured it couldn’t be that hard though I knew I wasn’t being honest with myself. Despite being a weaver, I don’t have a single really artistic bone in my body. I don’t know where and to set things up so they’ll look pretty. So what I did do, is set up a plan. I looked online, I found images, I took notes, I scribbled a lot and then I spent a few days just looking at the way the roof was setup so I’d know just how to change things about but then I had a better idea.

There is a second floor above us, and a third actually and they’re not in use, I haven’t found a use for them. I told myself, why not? That way he could have that garden year round. It wouldn’t require too much change to the floor setup itself, though several additions would need done. Change the windows to something more resistant, cut out whatever bit of wall was left to replace with those windows, in short, set the floor up so that every wall in every direction was window, tinted in such a way you could see out but not in. He still deserved his privacy.

Though maybe, here the thought crossed my mind, what if I did that with the second floor and opened up the third in a sort of mezzanine? So bigger elements could be set up where the ceiling was so much higher and it could all grow and he could have a quiet little spot in that mezzanine for slighter things. It was brilliant as far as I was figuring out all the details. It would cost, but so what? I could afford it and it would be lovely.

Being with Yael in this way, just living together, spending time together, it has changed me and I’m aware of that, I think it’s a good change. I’m a little more comfortable with humans, though that’s just a little but without that I wouldn’t be able to pull off this garden thing. Of course he’s bound to notice things are happening, we’ll have folks walking over our heads and above us for a little while, while everything is being set up but I think that can easily be explained.

We’ll have to, again, change our sleeping schedule since I don’t think anyone will want to come and work in the evenings and at night, plus sunlight is usually necessary for most of these things and I can live with that. Yael already lives most of his time during the sun-hours, though well, no, only half of his time and I wonder if he doesn’t do it for me. He could live his life only in the day time, I wouldn’t fault him for it but he does half-days. Wakes up in the early afternoon and goes to bed much later at night.

I could take him off on another vacation while they work the set up above us but I want to be able to keep an eye out on things, how they’ll reinforce the floor and the pillars settled about, the windows. The set ups for the slight trees and the fountains and the rest. I even want heaters set up in places to keep the whole area as warm as it should be so things can grow and do so strongly.

The vacation we had at that bed and breakfast was wonderful though. The walks we took, the stargazing we did, the horse! I’d never seen a horse before in my life and at first I thought it might try to eat me but it kept its distances from us. It’s only on our last walk outside that I finally did manage to pet it. It was so soft! A slight part of me now has a desire for a horse but I’m more than aware we would need to live out in the country if this were to happen, so I’m thinking about a ‘let’s not’.

Maybe instead we’ll get some cats. We might have to keep them off the other two floors, though if they’re not out to destroy the plants, I don’t see why we’d have to. Still the first floor is huge on its own and there still are rooms that have no use, maybe one could be turned into a playground of sorts for them.

Spending time with Yael really has changed me. When I first came here, in France, I just wanted a quiet little place, a roof over my head, I wanted to survive, to just live one day after the other and that was honestly that. Now… well look at me now, planning to set up a huge two-floors (somewhat!) garden for him, thinking about maybe getting a pet or two. I know pets require attention and I can learn to do that, it’s not an issue. I think I’m adapting well enough to this life that surrounds me now, all thanks to Yael.

He’s been a gift sent to me when I was thinking my life could only get duller, more bland. He’s colourful and playful and he’s just, it feels good to spend time around him and it makes me feel so alive I’m not sure I could have managed any of what I have now if it weren’t for him.

So I guess, in a way, I’m just trying to repay him for all he’s done for me without even realizing it, I’m sure. Our ‘relationship’ as it is, should be a give-give one and I can’t be the only one to take all I need from him without giving him anything back in return. So I’m going to do this. Just the changes so the floor area is an acceptable one for the setup of a garden. I’ll let him decide all he wants to plant and I’ll plant with him.
I think it’ll be wonderful.

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