China

Yael has somehow managed to convince me that the television wasn’t all bad. We have now of these ‘build your channel collection’ thing going on, I’m not sure how it’s really called. Yael says there’s this list with all the channels and we have some basic ones plus about fifteen or so select ones that we added to our list for a fixed price. I didn’t have much of a say on what we were getting, I don’t know anything about that kind of thing but Yael knows what I like and what I don’t and so far what he’s picked for channels is fitting.

What little time I spend here, usually with either Areli or Lavi on my shoulder. Those are the names we gave our two growing cats, I call them our growing boys most of the time because they are. It’s not that I think of them as intelligent beings, humans or demon alike, but they have their own smarts, for being cats, and that counts for me. They’ve made our lives brighter, so much, recently.

One of the channels I watch is something of a documentary channel, it’s one of Yael’s favourites, we essentially travel to different places in the world while we stay here in our living room. We’ve been to places like Ireland and Canada, New Zealand and China. Today we visited some pandas. We still are, they’re huge on this screen and at times I feel like I could reach out and touch them, they feel so real.

I admit that not all of these places we’ve seen on the screen are places I want to eventually visit in what I know will be a very long life. China though has been added to that slowly growing list. I don’t know when we’ll go or why, or how really. I don’t much like the idea of flying though I’ve never been near a plane before in my life so it really shouldn’t have much of a sway on me. But there’s Areli and Lavi to think about. Where would we leave them to? Would we take them with us? If we were to visit places and rent houses to stay in, perhaps, but not otherwise. These cats get everywhere. I don’t think they have a run-away streak but I wouldn’t really want to chance it.

For now though, I admit I’m more than pleased with being able to watch these places be explored from the comfort of my home. The sights are breathtaking most of the time though, the ones of the true wilderness, that place that’s hard to find here anymore. The jungles, the caves, the rivers. Sure we have rivers and probably some caves somewhere on the edge of water, but they’re hardly part of any ongoing bit of wilderness.

The world as it is, it feels too cultivated, too many people and building and technology. I’m not saying I’d love to live in the time of cavemen but at times I feel like I was born in the wrong century. Then again, there’s no telling if I ever would have met Yael if our lives had been any more different than they are now so I’m grateful for that, in any case, I can’t complain. He’s good company and I know there’s more than just company under the surface but I’m not sure I’m ready to face that part just yet.

I mean sure, we did kiss and it was a startling sort of thing, it was so new but it felt wonderful and warm and something fluttered in my stomach but I don’t know what would come with that kind of thing if we were to move ahead, move forward. A small part of me wanted to sweep him off his feet and do things… but I’m not even sure what these things are supposed to be. Instinct is stronger and knows more than I do at this point, not too surprisingly but I’m not ready to let it take over just yet.

So I appreciate those little nights where we just sit shoulder to shoulder, warmth being shared a little this way, the boys not far from us or just running about like they tend to do when they have an over-abundance of energy that I hardly mind, and we watch something on the television. Despite the choice of channels we have, I admit we’ve rarely switched to anything other than this discovery-like channel, it fits us.

At times though, we’ll have some of our music channels up and playing. Usually it’ll be soft music, I think it’s classical or baroque or something like that. Yael says it helps him to ‘art it out’ when he’s in the mood and it’s just relaxing for me when I get a little bit of work done. Not that I really need to but that’s aside the point, really. Our lives feel very peaceful right now and I’m thankful.

Still, I do have myself that little trip-list wish list. It’s not really a bucket list though I’ve pondered the idea of writing one out. I know I’m not about to die any time soon, unless someone really runs me over and mangles me to the point where my body can’t heal itself, or you know, slices my head off as I don’t think I’d manage to heal from that. Sicknesses I’ve healed from though it usually takes some time but I don’t see that anything but old age will ever get to me and I’m hoping the same goes for Yael. I don’t know that my life would be comfortable if he wasn’t in it the way he is now.

Over time, I know things will change, we’ll grow a stronger bond and we might even move on to doing more than just sitting side by side but that’s for later in our lives, we’re not about to rush into these things, I don’t see why we would. One of these days, we’ll travel too. Maybe after Areli and Lavi have had a really long and fulfilling lives with us, that is, when they’ll pass to the other side. I know cats aren’t immortal, after all.

Once it’ll be just Yael and me again, then we might take up traveling a bit. The plants on the second and third floor have an automatic watering system and so long as we continue to pay the bills there shouldn’t be any issues with that, I’m not too worried. That or we go one place for a while, come home for a couple of weeks, go out again. I guess it’ll mostly depend on how things are by then, one day after the other. Though this list is getting pinned up to the cork-board I have hung up in my room with photos of this and that, with ideas and places and a map all marked with places I think could be interesting to visit.

Hell, first stop might even be China to see pandas if there are any left by then.

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