do not tell

They’ve been together forever, it feels like. Longer than I’ve been alive so I guess that for me, it is forever in a way. I haven’t seen much of them together but that’s because I haven’t seen much of Alexis. He seems very keep to himself, it feels strange, Eoghan said that usually when it’s his lifetime out with the public, he’s an attorney. I suppose he values his quiet time after everything else. It’s fine by me really.

Eoghan ‘borrowed’ Quentin for the day and he asked me if I minded spending some time with Alexis. They keep on telling me to call him Lex but it feels strange and I can’t bring myself to do that. They needed the house so Eoghan walked me over to his apartment and I was let in with nothing but my soul, my clothes, a sketchbook and a pencil and eraser. I feel completely out of place and almost naked though I know that’s just my imagination. I guess that living with Quentin for the past year has helped me grow used to the idea that folks might just feel out of place in a spot they’ve never been at before.

I had to catch my breath when Eoghan left and told me Alexis would be out of his room in a moment. I hadn’t expected him to come out bare chested with low slung pants and hair slightly tousled from sleep (or so I assumed!) I must have been the colour of one of my ripest tomatoes when he smiled at me and told me to make myself comfortable in the living room. So I did and I tried to just sort of breathe for a while. He might have sensed my discomfort, when he came back out of his room (and a shower by the look of his slightly moist hair—Yael stop staring!) he was towelling his hair dry and he had put on a t-shirt. It still defined him just fine and I couldn’t decide whether it was better or worse. It didn’t really matter.

What I understand of my situation at this point as he goes and busies himself in his kitchen, more than likely for coffee, is that this might be a very strong drift of lust. I feel no emotional attraction to him but the body has different ideas and this might be one of them. It’s inevitable, he’s good to look at, they all three are but Quentin is the one who has my heart.

I thought it might be something of an awkward conversation or day when spent with someone I don’t know but it comes back easily, it always does. My roots. For how long I spent in an orphanage around other people I knew or didn’t. How I had to be nice to folks so I could have what I wanted or what I needed. Unlike Quentin, I didn’t close up onto myself, I opened up and I welcomed most. Of course, when Sterling died that changed but that’s in the past or as much as in the past as I can put it.

When he settles next to me, the first thing he seems to notice is my sketchbook and he asks me about it, how long I’ve been drawing and how comfortable I am with everything. The conversation comes easily and I do end up showing him a few pages of this and that. This sketchbook has mostly seen to this day fashion sketches. I don’t know why. I suppose it’s after I saw that one show on the television. The models looked ridiculous to me so I started sketching this and that. Nothing of importance but it caught his eyes. I don’t really know why.

He asks me if I would be able to create, to be worn, something I’d drawn. I blink, look down to my sketches and laugh softly. He looks puzzled for a moment and I have to admit that he might be tall and imposing but so far he’s rather kind a soul. I tell him that when I met Quentin, the idea had been brought up that we could more than likely own our own little boutique with unique fashion. I could design and he could create. He is the one with the ability to create things out of just about thin air, it’s a wonderful sort of thing.

Alexis smiles at me and tells me we might have our own private project while Eoghan and Quentin are busy on the other side of the street. I can’t help but feel absolutely charmed by that smile and it takes me a moment to come back down to earth as a whole to ask him about the kind of project. He tells me that for a while he, since before he came back really, he’s been thinking about a gift to remind Eoghan that he’s always on his mind, even when they’re apart. I can’t help the little sigh that escapes me, that’s sweet really.

His first few ideas are mostly centered on clothes and while it might not be a bad idea, I have to tell him the one thing that’s going through my mind. Clothes are temporary, they’re worn and worn and then they become thin, old and eventually (though it could be in decades!) they have to be thrown away. I scribble a few different things down on my book. Fashion isn’t the only thing I like drawing after all and I know my way well enough around a lot of jewellery, something a little more difficult for Quentin to create though if it’s a woven bracelet that could be managed, we could attach whatever extra to it afterwards.

I don’t think I ever expected Alexis to blush but he did, deeply at that when he first saw the few different rings I had scribbled. A bit too ‘soon’ he says. He adores Eoghan to no end but he doesn’t think that a ring would be fitting. It would feel as if it was something tying the both of them down. I guess it puzzled me at first but I think I can understand. After living so long and all, love is ever present but a ring might not be the best of ideas.

The bracelets have his attention a bit more and we work together on a design he likes, a design he believes will be liked just the same. It’s simple but meaningful. It has a few stones I’ve never heard of before on it and he says he’ll get those himself. That all I have to do is get the basic bracelet set up and once that’s done he’ll let me have the stones to finish it up. I don’t mind that kind of idea.

We spend most of the day on this, my sketching, erasing and adding whatever it is he sees in his mind. The day ends with a promise for several articles of clothing, one simple necklace and a bracelet. He makes me promise to not tell as it’s to be a surprise and I’ll have to either keep the details from Quentin or make him swear to keep to himself. The second option might just be best. I trust him to keep that kind of secrets easily after all.

I don’t know that I’ll be there when he gives those to Eoghan, as is, it’ll be about a month before everything is finished anyway so it’s just one of those things. Who knows he might keep it for that snow time holiday. Christmas. We might be able to all be together at that point though, celebrate between friends. I think that could be awesome.

I can see it in his eyes. Alexis really does care deeply for Eoghan and he knows he doesn’t mention it often enough. He’s trying to work on that but I can understand that spending a decade or some away from someone can be difficult to come back to. Still, I believe in their love.

This is a good day I’m not about to forget, it was an interesting sort of outing. Our hours usually clash so it was surprising that Quentin and I were both up today. A nap before long won’t do my any harm though, after all, we sleep when we’re tired without a really set schedule, it comes, in a way, with being our own bosses. I sell a few pieces of my art here and there, Quentin… well I don’t know what he does for money but he never seems worried. Today I learned that Alexis will be working with chocolate and other simple items for the next decade or so and I think Eoghan is content with just taking care of their building.

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