can’t be sure

“Have you had time to look at his mind a bit more in depth to know what we’re working with?” His voice is currently painfully grating on my nerves but that’s because of the migraine that took hold just a few minutes ago and I can’t blame him for it. I haven’t had one of those in years and it came out of nowhere, I don’t even know how to really take care of it. I could have some pills, some meds but I don’t know if they’d help.

I grunt something intelligible and he looks at me with worry. He reaches out to touch my temple but I back away with a shake of my head. The issue with these headaches, these migraines, is that they open the doorway. That little door I have in my head that keeps all the voices out. Touch makes it worse, it’s like it amplifies everything and it makes me even more miserable.

Still I slowly breathe in and out, I struggle a little to calm myself and try not to focus on the slow throb of the strengthening pain. “I don’t know for certain. Last time I tried to read him he realized I was doing something and I had to pull him into the mindscape. From what he can do with the garden I’d have to say he’s earth-gifted but I can’t be sure.”

The worry etched on his face grows, my voice is whisper soft and I curl my fingers over my ears. It’s a useless sort of trick, it doesn’t cut out anything at all but it’s what I used to do when I was younger, thinking it would do me some, any good.

“Go on and into the bedroom, Eoghan. I’ve set up some wards around the four corners, it cuts out most of the gifts’ effects.” I didn’t even know he could do something like that. I also wondered if it would help with me. If it helps him with his gift then all the better but we’re different and I can’t help but worry that what works for him won’t work for me.

Still I wobble slightly to my feet and I can see it in his eyes that he wants to help me but he keeps his distance. The last time he touched me while I was dealing with a developing migraine, I had a severe blast from his gift and I ended up spending about a week in a sort of coma. It had been unpleasant from what I recall of it.

The moment I step in the bedroom it’s like I’ve entered a soundproof room. It’s quiet. I’d never noticed that kind of quietness before and it leaves me baffled. My head is still throbbing in a painful way but I can’t hear anything. Maybe the wards or whatever it is work better when in the presence of a migraine. I’ll have to thank him once it passes. Usually it takes a few hours though the last one that made its home in my head took two days to leave. I don’t want to be away from him for two days, even if I can help it in any way.

I don’t know that he can or not touch me here with these wards and not send me into kingdom come for the next week or so. It’s tempting to try it and I think I’d be more than willing to face the consequences. I don’t know that he might be willing to tempt fate, however. I don’t blame him.

“Alexis?” It’s so rare that I call him by his full name but my head still is pounding in a bad way though the lack of voice really is a comfort. He looks into the bedroom, a small almost hopeful smile to his lips. I hold out my arms to him and his smile turns into a frown of uncertainty.

“I think it’s worth a try. I know you don’t want to hurt me but I can’t hear anything, not even the whisper of any voice. If I get a blast from your touch, I’ll live with it. I know you’ll worry but I just, this migraine is killing me and I just want to try to see if your presence might not comfort me, please?”

He still looks torn but he steps closer, into the bedroom and he closes the door. I can feel the pressure in my brain ease a little more still. Whatever these wards, they’re powerful and if I had known about them before I might have asked him to put them up all around the apartment. Maybe around our new house, depends on how draining it is for me.

I move to settle on the bed, setting the covers just so and he rounds the bed, tugging the curtains shut as he goes. It doesn’t change the pulse from the migraine but it does help a bit with the light and less light is less pain for me so I’m thankful. He shuts the window curtains just the same and then he’s back about on his side of the bed. “I really don’t want to hurt you, Eoghan.”

I smile at him best I can and just hold my hand out to him. “Just a little touch, it’ll be a start and we know that the more we touch the clearer the link is. If I feel little to nothing with a little touch, it’ll be a star, we’ll just move gradually.”

He still doesn’t look convinced but he settles onto his side of the bed. He reaches out and brushes the tips of his fingers to mine. I feel a little jolt of energy but nothing like what had me conk out in a bad way last time. I nod and he eases just a little closer, pressing his palm to mine without ever breaking contact. I feel nothing more, no extra jolt and no pull. I smile a little more and he presses his second hand to mind. Again there is just a little something, like a brief electric shock, static more than likely is the sensation but that’s all it is.

“I think we’ll be good. I just get this little zaps, like we’re both charged shock full of static electricity but that’s all. Please?” Still he moves slowly, hand brushing over my arm, over my chest and I feel a bit of a stronger charge but not enough to make me want to change my mind. “Please.”

He sighs but settles down without ever releasing my hand. It seems to be our main link, as if he’s afraid that if he lets go of my hand I might hit the floor or something and I suppose I’m thankful to him for that. Once he’s settled, I move to put one hand on his chest and he releases the one he had been holding. I slide it down to his shoulder, over to his arm as I move to rest myself against him. I hiss slightly at a brief shock I get when I press my chest to his side but it’s all there is to it.

I feel tears prick at my eyes as I curl as close to him as I can and he settles his arm around me. “Thank you. This place is so quiet. The pain is still unbearable but I can’t hear anything and if I can’t hear anything then it’s all the better. The pain will recede, I just don’t know how long it’ll take. “If you need to go anywhere, just say so. Once you’re done you can come back and we’ll take the slow resettle like we just did and I think we’ll be good. Please just don’t stray too long, I think I might go insane. I hate these migraines.”

I know he does do and he only hugs me closer. I close my eyes and try to think of nothing, try to forget the world exists for a while and try to get better.


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