in a catalogue

This is our second holiday season spent together but out first time celebrating it. Well, somewhat celebrating it. Neither one of us really understands the point of this celebration. People give each other gifts, they decorate and they eat more food than usual. Some talk about their saviour or something or other but I don’t give it much thought.

Eoghan said that most of Christmas, to Christians, the folks who talk about a saviour, is about celebrating his birth or some other random weirdness. Well, if they want to believe that someone out there some two thousand something years ago was born to save them, more power to them. Alexis says it didn’t happen. He was around at that time.

So Yael and me, we’ve been looking through catalogues, pointing out what we think could be interesting, what kind of decoration we could set up. We both know I could do up most of these decorations myself but that might just be absolutely exhausting and I’m not sure that’s such a good option at this point. Not like it’ll be that expensive. We found a beautiful tree. At first we were thinking of just decorating the huge pine outside but we realized that with the wind we get in that area of the yard most decorations might not make it through the decorating season.

Instead we found this nice and big one, all fluffy and deep green. It has something like fibre optics at the end of its branches and once plugged in, it’s gorgeous. With Yael’s eyes for set ups and decoration, we put in some dangles and some ribbons and stuff that won’t break easily because we have ourselves two cats who love climbing into it. We set heavy weights on its base so it won’t topple over. Only Areli has made it nearly all the way to the top and we were amused by that a lot more than we should have, I know.

Gifts are something else altogether and we’re not sure how to go about this. Eoghan has brought up that we’ve had a lot of chances to exchange gifts to this day since our meeting and we haven’t. Birthdays and Valentine’s day, for one. I don’t remember when I was born, I don’t think Yael knows either. I don’t even remember the month or the year exactly. I guess we’ll both pick up a date at random and that’ll be our day. Valentines is for lovers and this is recent so I guess this year we might see about that.

We both have all we need as far as we’re concerned, I guess it’s why we’re looking through catalogues to try and see if we can’t find something, anything that might catch our eyes. I know Yael has recently developed a love for antiques so we might go to that boutique he’s liked so well lately and I might just buy what I see catch his eye the most. When he’s not with me, of course. That is the point of gifts is to keep them secret until it is time to give them away.

I think I would like books myself, I’ve mentioned it a few times. Old classics are always nice and they’re a fun read. You don’t really get tired of them.

We’ve been done with the gift Alexis has prepared for Eoghan for a little while but it still here. Alexis said something about how Eoghan was good at finding hidden things and that it was safer to keep it here in our house until the time was right. He did bring it back to his place when we were done, wrapped it up and brought it back to us for safe keeping. So we’re keeping it safe until it’s Christmas. I don’t know if he’ll want it for Christmas Eve or morning. We still aren’t sure if we’re supposed to open presents then or in the morning. It doesn’t really matter. To us, so long as we’re together, it’s the best present of all. So we might just open them on the morning of.

For now we’ve mostly just been decorating a little here and there. Simple things that can’t really be batted away or eaten by curious cats. At times they’re such a handful that I’m not sure what to do with them but most of the time we fling them a bouncy toy and they chase it and amuse themselves into exhaustion, so it’s not that much of an issue. With decorating though, it’s different. I guess it’s because we’re doing something they’re not used to and they’re curious. They want to help in their own way. I can’t blame them for that, even if I’ve found myself almost tripping on their tails now and again. I’ve yet to step on them yet.

One of the catalogues we have, courtesy of Eoghan, is something with adult toys. I know Yael has a couple but when he looked at the whole thing, page after page, he went such a deep shade of red that I thought he might pass out. It was something to watch him grow redder by the page. I think he might have more knowledge of these things than he’s been letting on. I’m not going to pry but I admit that I am a little curious to know what kind of toys he might have experimented with before. I mean, we’re still not up or ready for full on sex but a little bit of discovery with toys might just be interesting.

A section in that book is solely for lacy, racy stuff. I don’t know, it doesn’t look at that interesting but I guess most of it is for women. Teddies that don’t cover much and underwear that leaves everything open to the world, I wonder about their use if they don’t do what they’re supposed to be for. There are some boxers, most of them with a decorative ‘nose’. You put your self in there and instead of being comfortably ‘behind walls’ you’re dangling in something that makes you look like an elephant’s trunk or a snake. I fail to see the point to it.

Sadly, as per Yael’s wishes, that catalogue is going to end up being fireplace food. He doesn’t want to look much longer at it. I’ll have to take it slow in asking him about what he keeps in that chest under his bed. I know what is in it but I’ve never seen its contents. I don’t blame him for hiding something like that way but it’s not really such a bad thing, it’s not a hideous sort of habit. Everyone has needs, I just didn’t know how to deal with mine until he sat me down and told me about it, explained it to me.

Pleasure is natural in the world and everyone has their own way of dealing with it or handling it. I’m just curious to know how he takes care of himself, is all. Maybe after the new year, start the year on a new, more-trust step. If that’s trusting more or me just being nosy, that is. I can’t help it, I just want to know everything about him. I want to make sure I never do anything to upset him ever again.

I want to be the best I can for him.


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