it is elegant

“How much do you think this might have actually cost?” I hadn’t actually seen that dress since the day it had somehow landed on our doorstep, addressed to him. I cant my head, look it over as he holds it up to the light and then hangs it on the back of the door. I shrug and smile slightly.

“I honestly don’t know. It’s lovely, elegant really. It’s been gathering dust though, huh?” He nods and chuckles softly. I guess that’s what was going through his mind too. I know he tries to go through his things every half-year or so since he’s been here, pulls out what hasn’t been worn and what hasn’t had a use and bags it up.

“Might be more expensive than we think. Someone could more than likely get a good price for it. Or we could drop it off with the rest of the things to the same folks we usually do and they’ll see it for however cheap they think they can get away with, so long as it makes someone happy.” It is a beautiful dress. Its deep colour brings out his eyes but I know that when it was worn that time we received it from who knows it, was a once in our lives thing. Yael isn’t the cross-dressing kind and I like him just as he is, pants, shirts and all.

He looks the dress over a moment, pulls it from the back of the door and holds it up in front of his still slightly thin frame. I cant my head, look him over and I smile. It brings back wonderful memories, this dress helped us move along to the life we have now. Still though I shake my head and I stretch before pushing away my cup of cooling tea. “I think we could bring it over to Eoghan, maybe he’ll know someone who might be willing to buy it from us. It is expensive looking, I think it might be a bit of a waste to just give it away to someone who might not really appreciate it.”

I don’t know fashion, I know nothing about it. I know nothing about art either but I know a few small things about beauty, since after all, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I think someone could really benefit from this dress but dropping it off to folks who work in thrift stores might not do this one justice.

Nodding, he puts it back up on the back of the door and then he’s disappearing back into his- no, our bedroom to go through his things. Once he’s done there, I know he’ll be heading off into his studio to see about a few things in there he doesn’t use. Usually the pile from his clothes is much bigger than the one from his studio.

As afternoon begins to settle comfortably over us, the sun warm though there is a bit of a cold breeze going through, we gather the slight bags, dress excluded, of the things he’s decided he didn’t need or want and we head off to locate the nearest drop box. There are a few different groups who run different thrift stores and we never really play favourites. We just drop the bags in the nearest box, I’m not even sure which group takes care of it.

“You’re sure you’re not going to miss anything you’re about to give away?” He shakes his head with a laugh, the breeze ruffles his loose hair. It’s so rare for him to wear it loose, I just want to run my fingers through it to the end of time. I suppose that might just be a fetish I have. His hair is just so silky smooth.

“The old coat I replaced with you last time, that coat I swore was grey, some old pants that are still in good condition, a few different shirts, nothing I’ve worn in the past year honestly. I know I go through my stuff twice a year but I try to keep track of what I have and haven’t worn. If I haven’t worn something in a year, what’s the point of having it?” It makes sense when you think about it in that way. I nod and when we’re by the boxes, we each drop our slight back in and turn to head back home.

On the way, we stop by a slight park, though it’s closer to just being a stop and sit thing, there’s a bench on the side of the street with a few trees behind it. We settle and just enjoy the sun for a moment. I know there’s the park not far from home and I’m sure we can stop there on the way just the same. There’s more to discover there. I still mostly know that park by night time and I’m always surprised at what I see and discover when it’s clearer, brighter out.

He takes my hand after a few moments and we walk on.

The park near home is almost swarming with people though not quite. I suppose this is one of the reasons why I much prefer this place at night. It’s empty. I’m not much of a social soul, I don’t like talking to strangers. At times I can make exceptions but they’re mostly rare. I yawn in the fresh mid-afternoon air and squeeze his hand.

I’ve long since gotten used to the idea of holding his hand. Long since made my mind that I wouldn’t let people dictate what I can and cannot do in public. Not everyone is open to guys being together and that’s just their loss, I’m not going to keep myself from doing things I enjoy with him because I might be afraid of being judged.

Afraid of being found out and my demon-side brought to light, yes, but of what others think of me as a mostly normal guy in love with another guy, no.

We stop by the little pond, this place I spent a lot of time near at the beginning. We settle on the bench there, just appreciating the warm sun, the slight breeze. We’re dressed just enough for the weather and it’s absolutely wonderful. I pull our linked hands up and I press my lips to the back of his hand. He blushes and I snicker softly. I love being able to fluster him this way. He makes me feel wonderful.

Something changes in his eyes however as I peck the back of his hand again and I blink. He breaches the distance between us and steals a kiss. I blush, more than likely even darker than him but I can only smile stupidly. I think this is our first publicly shared kiss. Holding hands has been one thing, but kissing in public has been another, this was surprising but perfectly perfect.

I admit that we do have a sort of routine for most later-afternoons hours when we have nothing actually planned. When we step back into our home, we lock the door as usual and leave our shoes and coats in the foyer. Hands returned together, we head past our bedroom and towards the pool room where we’ll just undress one another and swim for a few moments before settling on the floating mattress, it might seem silly to some but it’s just how we are. It relaxes us to be together this way with nothing between us. It’s so peaceful when we’re here.

I can’t say that our lives are perfect but they’re wonderful as far as I’m concerned. I wouldn’t really change a single thing at this point. I think that would just be an absolutely foolish idea. We’re good with how things go, why change it?

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