recovery from __________

Everything is hazy, I stare around and try to make out something that makes sense but everything is blurry and I can’t wrap my mind around anything at all, I don’t know what’s wrong. I hear distant voices but I’m not sure if they’re in my head or out of it. I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re in my head since that’s normal but still.

I blink several times, still trying to clear up what I’m seeing and I still can’t really make out anything of what surrounds me. I try to lift my arm and it won’t move. I cant my head down to look at it but my head won’t move either. That’s a bit frightening, I’m used to my leg not really responding to me at times but this is different and it’s making me uncomfortable.

Am I paralyzed? Did I somehow die and I don’t remember what happened? I feel panic begin to swell in my heart but I try to squash it down.


I hear something again, it’s faded and distant. I try to focus on it but I’m not sure where it came from. I close my eyes, that much I can do and I try to focus to see if I can’t hear that one particular voice again.


There it is again. A little clearer but I’m still not sure what it is trying to stay. I close my eyes again and I try to focus, I try to take in what I can feel so I can try to sort out what’s going on around me. I can’t feel much, everything is distant but I can feel heat though there is an almost blast of colder air that comes my way every few seconds. I can feel something distant touching me. I think it’s touching my forehead, checking my pulse, I’m not sure.


There it is again. I gasp this time and my eyes fly open. Everything is still hazy but I can make out more shapes than I could before. I blink and again, slowly the shapes come into focus. I see Eoghan ahead of me and there is someone else behind him but I can’t really make out who that might me.

“Armin, can you hear me?” His voice is lower now and I stare blankly at him for a second. I still can’t really make out where I’m at. Whatever is beneath me is honestly a little hard. I lift my hand and rub my head lightly. Eoghan, above me, sighs in relief and I’m not sure why.

“Oh thank goodness you’re all right.”

I stare blankly still at him and I try to sit up but he keeps me gently pinned to wherever I’m at. I’m not all that comfortable here but that little motion of trying to get up made me dizzy so I guess I’ll stick to where I’m at.

“You weren’t coming up for supper so we were starting to worry. Lex said that maybe you weren’t feeling so well so you’d decided to skip but I know you would have called if that was the case. Your apartment is a furnace, Armin, why didn’t you tell me your AC had died? I would have had it fixed.”

I stare at him blankly for a moment more as I try to make sense of what he’s saying. It is slowly coming back to me now though most of it is still muddled. I hadn’t really realized the AC had died until I’d come back from a long day spent outside in the shade, just reading. All the windows are closed, the curtains are sheer in most rooms so the afternoon sun really shines down hard.

I guess I made it as far as my bedroom before I what, I fainted? That might explain why my head is hurting and why I seem to be on the floor. I might have made it to my bedroom but not my bed.

When Eoghan deems me well enough and recovered from my faint and fall, he slowly helps me get up. Over his shoulder I finally notice Mira seeming to fret a little by himself a few paces away. I smile at him lightly to let him know I’m all right and he smiles back, a slight, uncertain sort of smile.

“You guys didn’t cut your supper short because of this, did you?” My voice is rough and I have to force myself to swallow a few times to try to get it to come out any differently. I guess my apartment really did turn into a furnace over the course of the day. I chance a glance back and I see a small fan plugged into the wall. That explains the breeze I was feeling.

“We just didn’t start yet.”

I try to look at the clock but it’s too far from me and I can’t make out the numbers. From the almost painful rumble in my stomach I can tell it more than likely is some time past the usual food time and I sigh. “Well since you’re not really letting me go anywhere on my own, maybe you’d like to help me up top so we can all get some food in our stomachs?”

He looks at me for a moment, his gaze is clear, he thinks I’ve lost my mind. I only smile at him lightly and manage a faint chuckle. “Eoghan, my head is killing me, my stomach is telling me it’s long past its usual feeding time and while I feel a little bit like I’m swimming, don’t you think that I’d be better off outside of this furnace?”

He sighs but caves in. He nods somewhat and it is Mira who comes to my side with my crutch. I smile at him warmly and set it on my arm. I know they won’t let me go anywhere on my own and they both stay close to my side as we slowly walk out of my apartment and into the hallway where the air feels much clearer, fresher.

“I’ll call someone to repair the AC though it might only be done tomorrow. You can sleep in our guest room for tonight. I’ll come back and I’ll riffle through your dressers to find you something to wear.” He winks at me and I roll my eyes.

I keep to my feet well enough as we walk up and towards the elevator. At least for once I’m grateful for that. I can usually manage the stairs well enough but at this very point I don’t much feel that I have the strength at all for them. My head still seems intent on spinning slightly after every few steps.

Once in the elevator, as he closes the decorated and protective metal doors, I lean slightly against him. He stands tall and still, letting me rest my weight against his side for the duration of our short ride up to the third floor where Mira is the first one to get off. He almost prances towards the door and pulls it open. He even holds it open for us to step through though it would have stayed open on its own.

As we walk past him, I murmur a gentle thank you to him and he smiles though he still looks a little worried about me. I guess I can’t blame him though I feel bad for worrying him and delaying the usual meal. I don’t know that I’ll stick around for the movie following the meal but I know I need to eat.

Eoghan helps me down into my usual seat and I offer quiet apologies all around the table for delaying the meal. Eoghan shakes his head and explains that my AC has up and died and I just hadn’t noticed until it was too late. There are quiet murmurs all around the tables, some on how they’re glad I’m all right, others how they’re starving (Agni that, though he means no harm) and the meal is finally served.

There is no extra tension around the table because of my delays or my little incident, the meal is shared in good humour and company as usual. I skip out on dessert and on the movie. Alexis makes sure I make it comfortably into the guest room while Eoghan disappears back downstairs into my apartment to look for clothes I can wear in the morning. I would have been fine with what I have now but I guess that’s just how he is, I can’t blame him for it.

I know I’ll sleep fine up here for one night. I suppose I’m just glad someone did come to find me because I cooked away in my apartment, less than conscious enough to even realize what was happening.


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