empty calendar

“What are you doing?” He looks over my shoulder as I finish putting the last touches to this one particular page. Page six out of fourteen since I’m counting in the cover and the page where there will be last year’s last three months, or this year’s last three months since it’ll go out next year and maybe the year after.

“Painting landscapes for a calendar?” I look up to him a moment with a quirked brow. I’d honestly expected him to be in his work room, doing whatever it is he does with that gorgeous loom we spent hours setting up.

“Why are you in my studio?” The words are spoken with a gentle tease so he knows it’s not an accusation. He knows I don’t like to be bothered when I’m in here, much the same way he’d rather I not step into his weaving room at all. At times I do invite him in though it’s usually so I can have him pose for me for a painting I’m doing.

He blinks, blushes and shrugs, a slightly awkward lift of his shoulders. “I guess I lost the habit, it’s been so long since you spent more than just an hour or so in here since you couldn’t draw anymore that I just, I don’t know, I was wondering what you were doing.” He pauses, “You’re painting landscapes for a calendar in the middle of the year?”

Changing the subject is easy enough for him in these situations and I don’t really blame him. I chuckle softly and I motion to the other five pages that are set out and mostly dry. “Yes, I’m painting landscapes for a calendar in the middle of the year. That way I can be sure I get them done in time for next year and I can send them in early.”

“Anything in particular you’ll be getting done in that calendar?” I know we’ll have a couple in the house, just for the sake of things but I do ponder his question a moment. “Well, I know some people like to put little thoughts in their calendars or facts or just random bits of information but I don’t really see the point. I don’t mind if it has the moon phases on there but otherwise I think it should be empty like those cards you buy that are blank. Let people decide what they want to write in those squares.”

He nods, kisses my temple and steps back out of the room, partially closing the door. I’m not sure if I’ll paint another one today, this is my second one and I’m surprised at how well I managed to get it done. I know the block has been more than a little present lately but it has been ‘melting’ little by little every day. I’ve even managed to start working with the camera we bought. It’s a lot to learn but it’s fun.

“I didn’t mean to disturb you, earlier.” He looks sheepish as I step into the living room with a stretch. There are two cats at his feet, one next to him and one near his shoulder at the top of the couch. We always have to make sure we’re looking where we’re going to so don’t walk on a wandering feline.

“You didn’t. I’d already painted another one and two in a day is more than I’ve done in a long time so I’m just happy with the end results.” I round the couch and I snag Coby up from next to him and settle down, plopping the cat gently down on my lap instead. He huffs but settles after a few moments of going around to make sure it was the most comfortable spot.

“What gave you the idea for a calendar?” I cant my head at his words and I look out towards one of the windows briefly. I’m honestly not sure, it just sort of came to me. I don’t even know if anyone would want the calendar thought I could scan them all in high quality and set up that calendar myself on a website that allows that. I shrug lightly and lean my head on the back of the couch.

“I don’t know. It’s just one of those thoughts that crossed my mind. I could do it online, it’d be a bit more money coming in from my end of things and-“

“Yael, you’re not seriously worrying about money, are you?” He turns to me and I straighten slightly. I know the smile on my lips is uncertain. He sighs and shakes his head. “We’re not going to worry about money. I’m not worried. I know you want to do your part but you shouldn’t have to worry at all. Most of the money you’ve made to this day has been set in an account for later on, it’s just gathering extra money at this point and it’s what is important.”

I roll my eyes at him and grump gently. Leave it to him to make it seem so simple in the end. I know he’s had to look after his money a little longer than me. After all, while I was on the streets all I could do was save it up best I could and hope I didn’t get robed, then buy myself either some food, another blanket or more spray paint cans. I know my priorities weren’t all that straight but at least I know that they were straight enough that I met him and that it led me to being here with him right now.

“All right, all right but I do worry. I know I don’t have to but I feel like I’m not pulling my weight when I don’t have at least some income coming in. With the cats and the house and the garden-“

“Yael, you take care of the garden, you keep us and the others supplied in most vegetables and fruits. I don’t see how else you would have to pull your weight. This is more than plenty.”

I sigh and shrug, dropping my head back to the top of the couch and I close my eyes. “Well, I’m still getting that calendar set up and you can do what you want with the money that comes in.”

I know I’m being a little childish at this point but I can’t help it. It’s just one of those things. A tiny little part of me is afraid that our life as it is now will eventually come a screeching halt because I’m not doing enough and I’ll be back in the streets. After living here with him, I don’t know how I’d handle being in the streets. The thought scares me half to death.

He shifts next to me, I’m not sure what he’s doing. Coby meows indignantly but jumps off my lap and Quentin’s arms are about my waist. I almost squeak as he moves me from my spot and pulls me into his lap. I look down at him with a quirked brow but he only smiles that amused, ‘I win’ sort of smile. I roll my eyes at him again but I can’t help the slight quirk of my lips. Doing things like these tend to make me mostly forget about my worries.

We’re not usually spontaneous. Most of what we do is planned at least five minutes early (though that’s about it, it’s a case of: should we do this? Yeah, we should. And we do it.) Sure at times we’ve just dragged one another off without warning to this room or that to do something or other but it’s not all that often that it has happened.

I sigh and nestle against him lightly. I shift my weight to be comfortable and he allows me the freedom of motion to get settled the way I want. At times it might seem awkward, I’m taller than him but I always end up in his lap, it’s just how things are with us. We’re comfortable this way.

“I’m sorry I fuss and fret about money, Quentin.”

“All forgiven, now shush, cuddle and relax.”

I’m more than happy to.

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