a new spatula

We share cooking duties. Especially now that Zora is out somewhere, late every day in coming home. From the papers she leaves on the counter I figure she’s still out looking for an apartment or she’s working over to continue saving up for an apartment, I don’t know. I don’t want to leave this place and she can’t force me to either.

Preparing the meals, however, has turned into a bit of a chore over the last couple of days because we’ve realized that most of our cooking utensils were poorly made. The spatula, for one, broke in my hand yesterday morning and we’ve had to somehow work without, it isn’t easy.

I can understand that it might seem like an absolutely pointless thing to have to fuss without a spatula but when you use it daily to help with the meals, you realize how necessary it is. So today, after work, we asked Eoghan if he minded dropping us off at the cooking store. I’m not sure what exactly it is called but they sell cooking stuff of all kind, utensils, pots, pants, glasses, the whole thing. He asked if he wanted us to wait for us but since we didn’t really know how long it might take us and he also had Armin with him, we told him to go on along and we’d walk back.

As we slipped from the car, he reminded us to be careful of some folks who were still wandering about in the streets and we told him we’d be fine. He left, we waved and stepped into the store. We really should have noted down what we needed, this place was crammed with stuff. The places to walk between the shelves was slight and I can’t even imagine a cart would have made its way in there.

Mira snagged one of those little carry-on baskets and we went through the rows. We spotted the spatulas and actually took a couple of them, a couple ladles, a little of this and that. By the time we made it to the counter, we were sure it would cost us a fortune but the end price was actually well within our range, it was comforting. We even bought one of those reusable bags they had at the counter because honestly, I didn’t trust the flimsy plastic bags they were about to hand to us. So we bought the reusable one and gathered everything in there. It had a slight weight but not an overly uncomfortable one so we took the easy route: we each took a handle. Something we’d done as kids before.

It didn’t really cross my mind that some people might see us walking this way, side by side, carrying our bag like that and try to judge us. I honestly didn’t really care if it happened. Mira looked a little uncertain but I know he does his best to be strong.

Plus, we’ve only had to walk to the bus stop, we still were a fair distance from home and we weren’t about to walk that. We’re healthy and young but we’re not that crazy.

We sat at the bus stop, the bag between us. I’m the one who took it onto the bus and I set it between my feet when we moved to sit on a two-person seat. That way we wouldn’t really have to move if someone else came along or tried to settle on either side of us. We don’t much like it when folks get too close to us. We’ve had a few bad encounters on the bus before and we’ve learned our lesson.

Once off the bus I carried the bag half of the way home and he carried it to the door.

“I’ve realized that we take some stuff for granted.” I look over at him as he sits at our little kitchen isle, just watching me dump the rest of the veggies into the pan to sauté them. I look down to the pan briefly then back up to him with one slightly quirked brow. He chuckles and shrugs.

“Like these spatulas. I never stopped to really think about how useful they are. I only really realized when the old one broke.” I have to laugh softly. He’s right though, I know that much. We take a lot of things in life for granted but it can’t really be helped. Most of these things are small, minor little details in our life, exactly like our brand new spatula.

“Not everything though; I don’t take for granted that Alexis and Eoghan are offering us this roof over our heads with no price tag attached to it. We have food in the fridge because Armin offered us that job. We’re warm and comfortable-“

“-or cool and content,” I add in, quietly.

“-or cool and content because we have this roof and because the AC runs fine in the summer and the heat in winter. We have friends, we speak the language a little more fluently than yesterday because we still get plenty of spoken exercise daily.” He’s right. He’s absolutely right. There is plenty we take for granted because it’s there, with us but we really don’t think much about it all because we’re so used to making use of those things.

“Think Zora’s going to be coming home late tonight again?”

I can only shrug my answer as I add in the cooked meat into the veggies to warm it up again. “Maybe she’s not really looking for an apartment but she’s just acting like she is. Maybe she found some guy and she doesn’t want us to know about it.”

Mira blinks at me, looking baffled that I might even bring that idea up but after a moment he’s laughing and I shake my head. We’ve never really seen Zora with anyone. She was too busy taking care of us. Now that we mostly can take care of herself, maybe some guy swept her off her feet and she’s been spending time there, it’s hard to know. She comes home late several nights a week and she doesn’t really tell us where she’s been or what she’s been doing. It doesn’t matter much at this point.

She no longer really looks pissed when she comes home but I just can’t read how she might be feeling in her face. She just mostly looks tired. We haven’t exactly spoken to her in a couple of weeks at least. She comes home, she warms up left overs (only every other night), eats and then goes to her room to sleep. It’s like we’re living with a ghost.

I shake the thought off as Mira brings out three plates. I serve everything up, we cover her plate but leave it on the counter for now, in case she comes home early. When we’re done with our meal and she still isn’t home, we wrap it up and set it into the fridge. It’s already become something of a routine for us.

Mira wanders off to the bathroom, more than likely to wash up after our day at work and I take a bit of time to wash the dishes. I know we have a dishwasher but I don’t really see the point of filling it up over the course of several days. It’s just so much easier to wash the dishes as they get dirtied, to clean up right as we get done about things. I’m not sure where I got this habit from but I feel like it’s been with me from the start. Usually, whoever cooks cleans up and since we alternate nights, it’s not much of a chore.

Once I’m done with the dishes, I put everything away and almost lovingly I finish up with the spatula, putting it in its spot and I chuckle. “I guess we do take you for granted but can we be blamed, really?”

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