showers

There he sits, his eyes closed, his head titled back to the sky. He sees without looking. I know he’s not asleep, he couldn’t be in this weather but that’s not the point, really. We’re finally getting some rain. We’d had some a little while back and it had poured down hard, we’d both ended up with bruises but this is different. The rain is lighter though it still falls almost in sheets. It doesn’t sting as it hits the skin.

I don’t think this kind of rain could be considered as showers, it rains a little too hard for what I know is their usual definition of the word but to him, to Yael I can barely see across the street just sitting out in their yard, much in the same way my brother is, it doesn’t matter. Rain is rain and it feels wonderful. I can only hear it fall currently, not feel it since I’m safely under the protection of the solarium setup around the pool here up on the roof.

At first the darkness of the clouds had led me to believe we might be in for a storm but so far we’ve only had rain and not a single hint of rumbling thunder. It’s why I was staying inside, I didn’t want to chance it but now that it seems mostly safe, that and I know we can take cover within moments if we hear the rumble, I might just join my brother.

Mira and water are like a single entity. I think if he could just float away for the rest of his life in water he’d be happy. In another life he might have been a fish. I chuckle softly at the idea as I pull myself from the shallow area of the pool and I step outside. The rain is as warm as the pool water, warmer still. The air is thick with humidity. I round up the solarium and move to sit at my brother’s side. I gently touch his hand to let him know I’m with him and he only smiles without really moving.

Most of the summer so far as been nothing but heat wave after heat wave. It’s been difficult to handle. I’m glad for those times when Eoghan offered to drive us to the library and back. I know Mira feels the same and while Armin might not admit to it, I can sort of see it in his face, I think he’s a little pleased with life as a whole whenever he can spend some time with Eoghan.

After yesterday where I spent most of my afternoon just sniffling away in misery while I tried to make sense of what Élodie wanted with me, today’s rain feels like a whole new beginning. A new sort of clean. I can almost let myself believe that the rain is washing all impurities away and out of my blood, out of my skin.

Without much of a warning, Mira’s hand rests on mine and while it startles me, I just let our fingers link. We spend so much time like this in the past, my keeping him safe, our fingers together, keeping him close and protected best I could. I think he’s the one protecting me from myself right now.

It had crossed my mind to actually ask Zora if I could get a few piercing in my ears, maybe one on my eyebrow but now I wonder if I should. Not so much because Zora hasn’t been around though I bet I could ask Eoghan and he could take on the role of adoptive parent or older brother, but because I wonder if it’ll change the way people look at me. With my red and black hair, I know I stand out. It’s natural, there’s no changing that short of dyeing it and I’m not going to. Will piercing make me look like a bad boy of sorts? It’s not what I’m going for, I’m just wanting to experiment with my life.

Mira squeezes my fingers and I sigh. I push away all thoughts and I let them be washed away by the rain. It’s wonderful and it helps to lull me into a quieter world.

At times I wish we lived in a tropical place, there could be a waterfall and we could just sit under it and I know Mira would just flat out be in heaven. It’s not really going to happen, I know but still. Never know, really. Eventually we could just keep on saving up money and we could go and travel for a while, I know Alexis and Eoghan might not hold it against us. I don’t really like the idea of leaving Armin alone in the library though so maybe we’d have to find folks to replace us while we were out and then we’d find another job when we came back.

We’re still young, there’s plenty of time to dream about these things and travel as we might really want.

I don’t recall drifting off but I do recall waking up to a gentle bit of breeze and to Mira’s fingers squeezing mine again. The rain is barely a drizzle now, more of a shower than what it had been earlier. I blink a little blearily and I look up to him. He has this amused look on his face and I stick my tongue out. I’ve had a terrible night the night before and I guess I needed a nap. Nothing like a bit of rest in a raining environment. A good idea in summer, not such a good one in winter, so might as well appreciate it for what it is now.

He tugs at me hand and I slowly get up. I really don’t know how long we’ve been there and with the cloud cover it’s hard to know what time it is. My stomach grumbles at me however and I know it’s been a couple of hours at least.

“Had a good rest?” His words are gentle and genuine, I nod and stretch. I almost spent the night with him last night but I didn’t want him to sleep as poorly as I expected to. I’m sort of glad, I wouldn’t have wanted to wake him either.

Finally, I release the hold I have on his hand and he merely moves in closer to me to hug me. I sigh and hug him back before we part ways and we start around the solarium. We have to step into the solarium itself to be able to head back downstairs. It makes sense in a way, I wouldn’t really want to have to step on a rooftop covered with snow to enter the solarium to be able to use the pool and then have to step back out into the cold.

We dry up a bit before doing much of anything else. Then we head down the stairs, first to the third floor and down to the second where we step inside. There is the faded scent of perfume and we both know Zora’s been in briefly and stepped back out again. At times I think she really did find herself a lover and she’s mostly living over there for how little we see of her. It doesn’t much matter, it changes little to our lives and the way we live it right now, I just wish she’d tell us about it. It’s not like we’d judge her for it.

We part ways in the hallway and step into our respective rooms. I change into something dryer and I head into the kitchen to see about preparing something to eat. I’m famished and I guess Mira must be too, really. We ate the same thing this morning though I know I mostly ended up playing with my food, I had no appetite.

I’m thinking salad with tomatoes and cucumbers, some shredded carrots and who knows what else we might have as leftover in the fridge. I love leftover salads.

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