drained

I had no idea when they would finally give me the okay to head back into the library to help them. I mean, it wasn’t up to them to decide when I felt good enough to head back but I didn’t mind so much. I spent most of my first week mostly sleeping and recovering and I had to wonder a few times if someone—Mira, I’m sure—wasn’t giving me my meds through the juices he was bringing me to keep me hydrated. I can’t blame him for wanting to make sure I wasn’t feeling too much pain though I didn’t really want to take those meds myself. I didn’t want to develop an addiction to them.

Now that I’m beginning to feel better, I don’t honestly feel a need to keep on taking my meds, not because I still don’t want to but because I really feel as though the pain has lessened enough that I don’t need them. I guess it’s a good sign that I’m not going to get addicted to them, a perfectly good and wonderful sign.

On this one particular morning thought, smack dab in the middle of the week, Mira took a good look at me as I got out of the shower and deemed me in good enough condition to come with them if I felt like helping. Of course I felt like helping, I just spent something close to a week if not a little more stuck in bed, mostly sleeping and healing up, I wanted out of the house as it was and into the crisp autumn air.

My bruises were fading well though now they were an ugly sort of yellow-green, it wasn’t a pleasant sight and I tried not to think too much about it. I hadn’t seen Niall since the incident and that was for the best. I wasn’t sure how I’d handle seeing him at all at this point in my life. It wasn’t the first time he’d beaten me, he actually would do it now and again while we were growing up, just because I needed to know what it was like to be an adult. I never understood what he was trying to do, in the end so I guess it didn’t much matter.

We shared a quick breakfast, I put on some warmer clothes and I offered to drive them there since I was now deemed well enough to get about. Armin looked somewhat doubtful but Mira seemed to bring him around. The twins sat in the back, Armin on the passenger seat on my right and I managed the drive just perfectly well, getting us to the library in record time. Agni mumbled something about how this was so much better than taking the bus but he was ignored by the other two so I let it be too though the thought amused me.

The day went by so much faster than I had expected it to at all. It wasn’t that there were a lot of people but there was a somewhat constant if sort of slow flow. There were books to be put away, new books to scan and unpack and making sure we weren’t in the way of the guys working the electricity. Not that they were in the way themselves but I’ve grown up so used to seeing this place in a semi-constant state of almost disrepair that it’s strange to see anyone at all in here working to fix up the issues.

By the time noon had come around, Armin had offered for me to have a bit of a rest in the back room but I stubbornly stayed on my feet. I wasn’t going to just sit back and close my eyes while they were working hard out there I’d already done that for the past week and I was set in my ways, I wasn’t going to slack.

I knew I wasn’t strong enough or healed enough to really start looking for a new job but that would come soon enough. I supposed it was why I was so intent on working as hard as them to get make sure the library was in perfectly good shape and people could enjoy their time with us.

When the key was in the lock and we were heading back towards my car, all I wanted was to sleep. I knew I’d pushed myself a little harder than I should have but I felt no real pain, just an exhaustion that was all physical. I was absolutely drained but it felt good. Mira looked a little worried at the idea that I’d be driving them home and mentioned we could take the bus and get my car back in the morning. I shook my head and got behind the wheel.

I’ve never been in a car accident and it wasn’t going to start now. I got everyone home in one piece, the car parked and I stayed behind the wheel for a few minutes. I think I nearly dozed off but Agni helped me out of the seat and along with Mira at my other side, they walked me up to their apartment where, when they sat me down on the couch, I promptly drifted off.

I don’t know how long I slept, just that I did sleep at least a little. What I recall is someone lightly shaking my shoulder and my eyes trying to focus on the face of whoever it was. After a few moments, my vision cleared and Agni snickered softly at the sight of me. “That was a good day, an exhausting one by the looks of you but a good day. Come on, we decided it was about time you had my bed and I took the couch. We’ve got some finger food waiting for you in there too if you feel like eating.”

On cue, my stomach rumbled loudly and I did laugh. It felt good to laugh and only feel a small bit of the pain that had been nagging me all of the previous week, it was still present but barely unfelt at this point.

I did let him walk me to his bedroom though I still felt bad for taking their beds from them, even if we were rotating. “Maybe I should use that apartment across the hall, I really don’t want to be using your bed or Mira’s own.”

Agni shrugged, stepping away when I was sitting on the edge of his bed. “Or you could use Zora’s bed. We don’t really go in there but there’s nothing of hers left and the dresser out in the living room is hers. The sheets are clean, we changed them when she left and that’s mostly been that.”

It was tempting, at least I wouldn’t be keeping you or your brother from your rightful beds. Maybe we can talk it over, all three of us? I’ve had some rest, I think I can survive staying awake for a bit more.”

I rubbed my eyes as if to prove a point, I could still feel the pull of sleep trying to tug me deeper but I was doing all I could to ignore it at this point. I did want to talk to them about that option. It would feel strange to be sleeping in her bed but it was better than sleeping in theirs and keeping them from it. The couch was comfortable but I couldn’t imagine it as a long-term thing, plus, the idea of being in an apartment this big on my own honestly made me uncomfortable.

“I’ll go get him if he’s not too busy doing you-know-what. We can talk it over but I don’t mind you sleeping in my bed and I know Mira didn’t mind you sleeping in his either. It’s just how we go about things, we share and we offer.” He smiled and disappeared out of the bedroom, leaving me to ponder how well I’d do in that extra bedroom.

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