on an island

It’s been so long since I’ve read this book. I’m not sure if I even recall what it’s really about though it’s hard to forget these kind of books, they don’t really go away from the mind. Boys stuck on an island, trying to survive, there is not a single adult about. I’ve read this book when I was so much younger.

It frightened me then, this Lord of the Flies book. At least I recall faintly that it might have really frightened me. I’m not sure why I have a copy of this book at all in my things, it looks ancient. I suppose it might have been that one particular copy from when I was a child. I can’t remember if they’ve ever made a movie out of this book and I don’t think it matters. I wouldn’t really watch it.

Now if I was stuck on an island, on my own, I think I’d be screwed and not in a pleasant way. Then again, that hasn’t happened since Andoni’s passing and I don’t think much about it. I try not to, there’s no point in thinking too much about things I’ve lost. That is something I’ve learned from Eoghan.

If I was stuck on an island with the rest of our little family, then I might not be so absolutely screwed. I can imagine that we could manage something of a mock, tiny little society before someone rescued us, if we were rescued. I don’t even know why my mind goes to these places. My imagination is one rather morbid place when it tries to bring up some imagery from old times gone by.

I look at the book one last time and I shake my head. I don’t really want to read it again, I don’t know why but I just don’t. I can’t throw it away but I can put it in a box somewhere. I do have a couple of boxes left against one wall in the living room. All my shelves are filled to the brim with books, these are worth more than my old furniture was before Eoghan changed it all. It was the only thing I really spent any money on back then.

Though I suppose I could buy another shelf, at this point. I have enough books still in boxes to fill it up and I might just discover old treasures. I haven’t seen any of my regular treasure-hunt books in my shelves, they’re probably the ones still in my boxes and that makes getting a new shelf all the more important. I don’t know if I’ll order it online or I might ask Eoghan for some help. He seems to know whatever place is best to get just everything necessary when it comes to furniture.

Still, so close to the new year might not be the best of times to go on a furniture hunt. The weather has eased up some, the air is warmer though it still chilly but otherwise I think it’s too early to be out shopping. In a week or two more though I know it’ll be on my mind until then. I might still as Eoghan though I’ll ask him if he knows of any website that could hold whatever I’m looking for. Ordering then might not be a bad thing. I don’t know that any company is open this early in the year but it’s worth a shot.

With the book safely put away in the box along with the rest of its peers, though I did have a look at the books that were at the top of that box and found nothing that really caught my attention. I went back to the rest of my morning. It’s so strange to not be rushing off to head to the library that I’ve been trying to fill in my time doing nothing and everything. I’ve looked at my riddles all over again, I’ve read books, I’ve cleaned the apartment. It really is strange.

I know we’ll be going back to work in another week or two. At that point I imagine that all the books will have been transferred over to the new building though I don’t know that they’ll be out on their shelves as they should be. That’s something else altogether and I can’t imagine that Eoghan will go that far. I don’t mind going in to unpack the books, set them up where they belong and make sure, essentially, that I know what is where so I can direct people properly.

It will be so strange, being in a new library but I think it’s for the best. The old one, despite the work that had been done to fix up the heat problem, still was cold and uncomfortable, I was constantly afraid that books might just freeze and become ice blocks that would break and shatter if they were dropped.

Overly dramatic, I’m aware. That’s just how I am when it comes to these books.

When I lost Andoni, I turned my attention and my focus to something else, I suppose that something else turned out to be books. I needed an outlet, I needed something to focus on and there was nothing else that grasped my attention and held it as firmly as these things did.

I look at the shelf-free wall of my living room and my mind refuses to let go. I do the only thing I can do. I put on a slightly warmer jacket though I know I’m not heading outside but at times I feel like the hallways aren’t as warm as the rest of the building, and I head off to the elevator. I’ve never been a fan of the stairs and I know that is never going to change, no matter that I might want those things to change. Stairs are a pain to climb with my crutch.

Once on the top floor, I step from the elevator and to that single door. I stop before knocking and I look at my watch. It’s half past ten and I know they’re early riser so I don’t feel so bad for knocking.

Alexis is the one to open the door and I smile up to him gently. I imagine he might not have expected me this early, this is our usual shared-meal day. I laugh at the somewhat surprised look on his face, murmuring an apology when he quirks one of his brow. It feels so strange to be openly able to act this way around anyone.

“I’m sorry if I’ve bothered you guys in the middle of something. I was just stuck on one particular thing and I know no better person to help me with this than-“

“Armin!” There he is, nearly bouncing, an apron on and I laugh at the sight of him, flour almost everywhere, there’s even some in his hair. He sticks his tongue out and I shake my head.

“You’re busy, I know, I’m sorry. It’s just that it finally clicked that I needed at least one new shelf for my books, if not two and you’re the one person I know who can find anything anywhere so I thought you’d have somewhere for me to look at different kind of shelves. I have a few boxes of books still left unpacked, I know they won’t fill in two shelves but I thought I was due to split my collection by theme so much room and what have you.”

Eoghan blinks and snickers, amused, I suppose, at the reason for my visit. Though he was smiling just moments later and I sighed. The sight of him still fills me with warmth. I know I can’t have him this way and I’m just so glad to have him as my friend, it’s more than I could ever dream of, really.

“I know just the place. Here’s a deal, you can come and supervise me as I finish preparing the pizza dough and then we’ll have ourselves a look through a few catalogues I have that should have exactly what you’re looking for!”

I can only agree to the idea, it is, after all, why I came up here in the first place and I don’t mind ‘supervising’ him, as it stands. Not that he needs it.


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