two hens

So we’ve had our ghost rooster back in the colder months and now I think we’re dealing with hens. They are not quite as ghostly as their male counterpart but they’re still unexpected and somewhat annoying. The cats are out to try to get them every time they come close to the house. We don’t know where they came from or why they’re here at all. We don’t exactly have anything to feed them with and we don’t give them any inside food. I figure they’ll leave before too long, that or the guys who are working on setting up the catio, the patio for the cats, will scare them off.

We hear them clucking every time we step outside, it almost sounds like a full hen house, I’ve seen one of those before while I was still wandering and trying to make me way here to France. We’ve still only seen two of them wandering around the grounds but at times we wonder if there are more. I wish we knew where they came from and who might be missing them.

During the night time, we try to leave some of the windows open since there’s a bit of a breeze. It gives the AC a break and it cools down the house at least a little. It makes it comfortable. The moment the heat starts back up we close everything down, including the curtains. You can bet these hens have been clucking at night and the cats are all over the house trying to find them. It makes sleeping a little difficult but we do the best we can with what we have.

It’s not like we can go out there and chase them down since we don’t know where they came from. If we did know, I suppose we could round them up and call up whoever they belong to but at this point no one has seen any notices about lost hens. It’s driving us batty.

I know it’s more than likely mean of me to honestly hope that one of the wild animals we know roam the woods might come out and have a bit of a snack on them. That way we’d stop hearing them cluck about. Yael feels bad knowing that they’re out in this heat but there’s no way we’re bringing these things inside. He works hard enough on the garden at this point that he doesn’t need to get any ideas that maybe he should start having farm animals around. He’d work himself raw, we can’t have that. He works hard enough already.

Currently, it’s about three in the morning, there’s a breeze flowing through the house from the open windows and all I hear is their clucking. That and the cats meowing to be let out to chase them around or at least see about knowing what the heck those things are. I wish it wasn’t the case. I’m surprised Yael is asleep, he usually wakes up at the drop of a pin but he’s been working extra hard in the garden these last couple of days, plus his painting, plus the top to bottom cleaning we’ve done since we realized it was needing done. He’s exhausted, I’m glad for that.

Frustration got the better of me. At around four in the morning I went around and I closed the windows. The breeze was still cool and fresh but I couldn’t take much more of the clucking and of the cats going around meowing, asking for their hunting licence. I closed the windows, pulled the curtains shut, closed the blinds. Everything will be dark and silent once Yael wakes up this morning and that’s how I want it.

I can manage without some sleep for a couple of days more, it wouldn’t be a first. I know I’ll more than likely look a bit like hell but that’s just one of those things that can’t be helped. It’s a small price to pay to make sure he sleeps properly. I think I might see with Eoghan if he can’t talk the twins into trying to catch these two birds. Maybe we can bring them into a pet shop of sorts. Though not sure they’d take them in. Though I’ve seen snakes and rabbits, frogs and lizards in there so I don’t know why they wouldn’t take in these two chickens.

Maybe the animal protection service place. They might be more comfortable with taking these two. I mean, we’re in a city that lives near a port. I don’t believe that we have any farms in the surrounding areas and I figure that these birds haven’t wandered that far and most certainly not from another city or in from the country. So really, someone must have lost them and the animal protection place might just be the best idea.

I don’t know why I didn’t think about it until now.

When Yael wakes, he rolls to his side and he rubs his eyes, looking up to me. He frowns when he focuses on my face and I offer him a half-hearted smile. “I closed all the windows and curtains around four this morning, these hens just clucking away and the cats trying to find them and meowing away was getting to me. I thought we could see with Eoghan if the twins can’t be persuaded to chase them down after their work day so we can bring them in to the animal protection service place.”

He reaches out, touches my cheek gently before he’s shifting to sit up and he nods and kisses my cheek. “That sounds like a plan. You look like you could do with a lot of sleep though. How about I talk to Eoghan and we prepare you that tea that relaxes you so well? The room is still dark, I’m sure you’ll be able to get at least an hour or two. I’ll be as quiet as I can and I’ll close the door to keep the cats out.”

That sounds like an absolutely wonderful idea. I sigh and I close my eyes, leaning my cheek to his shoulder for a few moment. He’s still sitting right next to me and I’m just comfortable being right where I am. I wouldn’t change a thing to our lives right now, except those hens, that is.

Straightening slightly, I steal a kiss from his lips and I smile lightly, just barely. I rub my eyes. “If you don’t mind asking Eoghan about the twins that’d be nice. I don’t know how you managed to sleep through it all but I’m glad. I know you need all the sleep you can get for all the hard work you put into the garden up stairs.”

“Quentin, you work as hard as I do in that garden.”

“I only do what you tell me to do.”

“Which is a lot of hard work. I’ll prepare you that tea, put in a bit of honey since that’s how you usually like it. You just settle down and I’ll be back with you in about fifteen minutes. If you’re asleep by then, you’re asleep by then and I’ll leave the tea with you and let you sleep.” He kisses my cheek, then my lips and he slips from the bed.

I watch him move, mesmerized by how smoothly he does so. At times I think he could be a dancer. He’s still a little sharp in angles in some places but he’s filled in to a point where I don’t worry daily about his health.

He disappears out of the bedroom and I settle down into the cool spot where I should have slept the night before. I’d settle in his own spot but he’s a little heater at this point and I’d rather start my rest in a cool spot. I tug the sheets just so, settling them at my waist before I close my eyes and breathe. I know I need to sleep, I’m just not sure how well I’ll manage.



His fingers curl around the stick loosely and he follows its lead as it seems to tip this way and that. Behind him, his brother follows in quiet curiosity, not daring to speak as if it would break the concentration he can see on his sibling’s face. He has absolutely no idea what’s going on. Part of him wishes they were back inside, the early evening heat still is oppressing and he would rather be inside if he could help it but he doesn’t want to let his brother wander these woods alone.

After a long moment spent in silence, Agni rolls his eyes and sighs as he pauses and reaches out for his brother to get him to stop walking as well. “Mira, what are we doing?”

His words are low, whisper soft, as if anything else might still somehow manage to break the trance that they seem to be in. Mira blinks, almost startled and looks back to his brother. His eyes are wide but there is amusement there on his face. “I’m dowsing!”

His tone is clear and happy but his words still don’t exactly answer his brother’s question. The puzzled look on his face seems to prompt something clearer, something that makes more sense but Mira simply looks down to the stick in his hands as it stays still, not pointing in any particular direction.

“Mira, I have no idea what dowsing is, how about you shed some light?” Perhaps a little annoyed now that they’re out in the woods in this heat when they could be inside where the air is so much fresher.

Mira rolls his eyes and turns to face his brother. “I’m dowsing. I’m looking for underground water. This stick is pointing me in the right direction.”

Agni takes a moment to digest the information before he’s chuckling and shaking his head, clearly amused now that he somewhat understand where his brother is going with this idea. “Mira, you are water. I’m pretty sure that if this does work, which I’m not sure it does but I suppose it could, it’ll lead us around in circles. You might not be ‘underground water’ but you’re water and I’m pretty sure anyone else with one of these sticks-“

“Dowsing rod!”

“-dowsing rod would be pointing at you. Then they’d be all absolutely baffled and wouldn’t know what to make of it. They’d believe something in wrong and go on their merry way. Plus, we know there’s a body of water some distance off, if this rod isn’t picking up on your inner water-gift, it’ll lead us to the river and that’s a long ways away. It’s stick hot out, can we just please go back inside?”

Huffing, Mira looks hurt for several moments as he hugs his stick to himself. It is the motion he makes of wiping sweat from his brow that seems to pull him back to the surface of things and he scrunches his nose slightly. “All right, let’s go back home.”

Agni holds the door open for his brother as they step to the building. Both step inside, the stick left behind. Agni had left the subject alone while they walked back, not wanting to really anger his brother by asking constant questions and not allowing him to ‘enjoy’ his excursion into the world of dowsing.

“What gave you the idea of trying this dowsing thing?”

“What gave you the idea of trying this stupid parkour thing?” Mira snaps a little, his tone angry and Agni can only close his eyes and pinch the bridge of his nose gently.

“Okay, note made. You saw this on television and you wanted to try it. I’m not going to ask anything else. Just keep in mind that I didn’t force you to come back. You decided to come back inside yourself because we were both sweating like pigs. You could have kept going. So don’t you dare take your anger out on me.” His words are soft but steady. There is no anger to them, merely a brotherly reminder of what he feels really did happen.

Mira sighs and his shoulders drop as they finish climbing the stairs to the second floor. “Sorry, I just thought it was sort of cool to watch people wander around with dowsing rods to find hidden underground water and I just thought it’d be cool.”

“It’s an interesting idea, Mira, it really is. It’s just that today is so humid I think we could have melted if we’d stayed outside. Plus that whole fact that you are water yourself so I don’t know how well you could have managed. I could try them in the house and see if they point to you or not? If they don’t we could go outside in a couple of weeks when the heat might not be as bad and try again?”

His brother shrugs again as they step into their apartment where the air is so much cooler. Both shiver briefly from the difference in temperature. Agni steps forward, curling his arms about his brother and holding him to his chest for several long heartbeats. “I didn’t mean to make you feel bad, Mira. You know that’s now something I do intentionally. I was just worried that if I let you go out there alone in this temperature, you might not come back and when I went looking for you, I’d find you passed out from a heat stroke and then I don’t know what I would have done.”

Beneath the hold of his arms, Mira is tense though he relaxes little by little. Again he shrugs but his gaze is on the ground, as if one of his dreams had just been utterly shattered. Agni kisses his brother’s cheek before releasing him but Mira does not step away. He turns and looks to his brother with those wide, confused sort of eyes. “I’m sorry-“

“No, no Mira. You have nothing to apologize for. I’m just saying. I worry about you and this heat is terrible. Even your adored mentor Armin told us we were better off staying inside when we got back.”

Those words pull a deep blush to Mira’s cheeks and he drops his gaze again, for a completely different reason this time. “I don’t adore him. I just really like learning new things with him.”

“Same thing.” Agni teases gently, knowing he’d essentially found the perfect way to change the subject.

Mira sticks his tongue out and wipes some sweat from his temples with a softly disgusted sound. “The heat is pretty terrible, I guess I should be thankful that you dragged us back inside. I’m getting a shower. You can sit and wait and bathe in your own sweat while I do so.”

“I guess I deserve that one, have a good shower.” It is Agni’s turn to stick his tongue out.

Mira disappears into his room to gather his things for his shower while Agni wanders off to his own to merely sit on his floor to cool down. He knows a wet washcloth would do him some good but he figures that he can be patient and wait for his brother to be done in the shower. He could use the second bathroom but they’ve realized that two using the showers at once cut down on the water pressure and it was less than pleasant, so they try not to, unless it is an absolute necessity.

It isn’t long before Mira is out, feeling clean and refreshed, towelling his short hair dry. He knocks on Agni’s door to let him know the bathroom is empty and he disappears into his own room.

The day didn’t end quite as badly as it could have, Agni knows. His brother could have held a grudge of sort if he hadn’t somehow managed to change the subject. It’ll still be on his mind but not quite as much as it had been when they first stepped out into the summer’s humid heat.

empty calendar

“What are you doing?” He looks over my shoulder as I finish putting the last touches to this one particular page. Page six out of fourteen since I’m counting in the cover and the page where there will be last year’s last three months, or this year’s last three months since it’ll go out next year and maybe the year after.

“Painting landscapes for a calendar?” I look up to him a moment with a quirked brow. I’d honestly expected him to be in his work room, doing whatever it is he does with that gorgeous loom we spent hours setting up.

“Why are you in my studio?” The words are spoken with a gentle tease so he knows it’s not an accusation. He knows I don’t like to be bothered when I’m in here, much the same way he’d rather I not step into his weaving room at all. At times I do invite him in though it’s usually so I can have him pose for me for a painting I’m doing.

He blinks, blushes and shrugs, a slightly awkward lift of his shoulders. “I guess I lost the habit, it’s been so long since you spent more than just an hour or so in here since you couldn’t draw anymore that I just, I don’t know, I was wondering what you were doing.” He pauses, “You’re painting landscapes for a calendar in the middle of the year?”

Changing the subject is easy enough for him in these situations and I don’t really blame him. I chuckle softly and I motion to the other five pages that are set out and mostly dry. “Yes, I’m painting landscapes for a calendar in the middle of the year. That way I can be sure I get them done in time for next year and I can send them in early.”

“Anything in particular you’ll be getting done in that calendar?” I know we’ll have a couple in the house, just for the sake of things but I do ponder his question a moment. “Well, I know some people like to put little thoughts in their calendars or facts or just random bits of information but I don’t really see the point. I don’t mind if it has the moon phases on there but otherwise I think it should be empty like those cards you buy that are blank. Let people decide what they want to write in those squares.”

He nods, kisses my temple and steps back out of the room, partially closing the door. I’m not sure if I’ll paint another one today, this is my second one and I’m surprised at how well I managed to get it done. I know the block has been more than a little present lately but it has been ‘melting’ little by little every day. I’ve even managed to start working with the camera we bought. It’s a lot to learn but it’s fun.

“I didn’t mean to disturb you, earlier.” He looks sheepish as I step into the living room with a stretch. There are two cats at his feet, one next to him and one near his shoulder at the top of the couch. We always have to make sure we’re looking where we’re going to so don’t walk on a wandering feline.

“You didn’t. I’d already painted another one and two in a day is more than I’ve done in a long time so I’m just happy with the end results.” I round the couch and I snag Coby up from next to him and settle down, plopping the cat gently down on my lap instead. He huffs but settles after a few moments of going around to make sure it was the most comfortable spot.

“What gave you the idea for a calendar?” I cant my head at his words and I look out towards one of the windows briefly. I’m honestly not sure, it just sort of came to me. I don’t even know if anyone would want the calendar thought I could scan them all in high quality and set up that calendar myself on a website that allows that. I shrug lightly and lean my head on the back of the couch.

“I don’t know. It’s just one of those thoughts that crossed my mind. I could do it online, it’d be a bit more money coming in from my end of things and-“

“Yael, you’re not seriously worrying about money, are you?” He turns to me and I straighten slightly. I know the smile on my lips is uncertain. He sighs and shakes his head. “We’re not going to worry about money. I’m not worried. I know you want to do your part but you shouldn’t have to worry at all. Most of the money you’ve made to this day has been set in an account for later on, it’s just gathering extra money at this point and it’s what is important.”

I roll my eyes at him and grump gently. Leave it to him to make it seem so simple in the end. I know he’s had to look after his money a little longer than me. After all, while I was on the streets all I could do was save it up best I could and hope I didn’t get robed, then buy myself either some food, another blanket or more spray paint cans. I know my priorities weren’t all that straight but at least I know that they were straight enough that I met him and that it led me to being here with him right now.

“All right, all right but I do worry. I know I don’t have to but I feel like I’m not pulling my weight when I don’t have at least some income coming in. With the cats and the house and the garden-“

“Yael, you take care of the garden, you keep us and the others supplied in most vegetables and fruits. I don’t see how else you would have to pull your weight. This is more than plenty.”

I sigh and shrug, dropping my head back to the top of the couch and I close my eyes. “Well, I’m still getting that calendar set up and you can do what you want with the money that comes in.”

I know I’m being a little childish at this point but I can’t help it. It’s just one of those things. A tiny little part of me is afraid that our life as it is now will eventually come a screeching halt because I’m not doing enough and I’ll be back in the streets. After living here with him, I don’t know how I’d handle being in the streets. The thought scares me half to death.

He shifts next to me, I’m not sure what he’s doing. Coby meows indignantly but jumps off my lap and Quentin’s arms are about my waist. I almost squeak as he moves me from my spot and pulls me into his lap. I look down at him with a quirked brow but he only smiles that amused, ‘I win’ sort of smile. I roll my eyes at him again but I can’t help the slight quirk of my lips. Doing things like these tend to make me mostly forget about my worries.

We’re not usually spontaneous. Most of what we do is planned at least five minutes early (though that’s about it, it’s a case of: should we do this? Yeah, we should. And we do it.) Sure at times we’ve just dragged one another off without warning to this room or that to do something or other but it’s not all that often that it has happened.

I sigh and nestle against him lightly. I shift my weight to be comfortable and he allows me the freedom of motion to get settled the way I want. At times it might seem awkward, I’m taller than him but I always end up in his lap, it’s just how things are with us. We’re comfortable this way.

“I’m sorry I fuss and fret about money, Quentin.”

“All forgiven, now shush, cuddle and relax.”

I’m more than happy to.

it was pink

I can’t remember where this blanket came from. I don’t remember either one of us ever having bought that. At least I don’t recall ever buying it and I suppose Eoghan could have but it’s not in his usual colour of choice. I mean we do have a few black things in the apartment but not that many. We have one set of bed sheets though it’s rarely out and it’s more for the dead of winter when it really is absolutely cold in the place. We haven’t had to use them here in Dunkerque yet. This blanket though, I really don’t remember having a black blanket in the house.

“Eoghan?” I know he’s not far, I’m just not sure where he’s at.

He comes out of the movie room and I quirk a brow. We’re never really in that room unless it’s for our weekly supper and movie, maybe he was looking something over. I hold up the black blanket and he blushes. Now I’m really curious but I wait until he’s at my side to ask any questions. He rubs the back of his head and slows down before he’s next to me.

“Care to explain?” There is no accusation in my tone since I’m not actually accusing him of anything but if he blushes that way, there has to be a reason. He looks at the blanket and brushes his fingers over it lightly as if it will bring an answer to the question I’ve just asked him. Now he looks absolutely sheepish and my curiosity is piqued.

“That old, fluffy white blanket we’ve had, you remember?” Of course I remember, it used to sit at the foot of our bed, I’ve been wondering where it was the past couple of days.

“It ended up in the wash with our new burgundy bed sheets.” He looks up at me, uncertain still but something clicks in my head and my eyes must light up because he ducks his head, cheeks deeper red still.

“I don’t know how it ended up there, I guess I didn’t look in the washer when I dropped in the sheets but it came out pink. It was pink and I know that’s just not a colour we really have in this place and it was out of place and I didn’t want to throw it out so I bought some black dye, I didn’t know what other colours would work to cover the pink and I just dyed it black.” He’s almost out of breath explaining it all, as if he’d somehow broken an old china vase that had been worth more money than I cared about.

I shake my head and laugh softly. “It’s my fault, the blanket was due a wash but I didn’t want to wash it alone, it would have been a waste of water. I thought I’d find something else to put into the washer with it but then it slipped my mind altogether. I think it doesn’t look too bad in black, it’ll contrast with the bed sheets just the same as when it was white.”

His shoulders sag and I laugh again, a soft, amused sort of sound. I’m not laughing at him, I’m laughing at the situation in general. “Honestly, Eoghan, as if I’d get mad at you for something like this?”

He grumbles a little and reaches for the blanket, hugging it to himself as if it was an armour to protect him from I don’t know what. “Accidents happen, we’re both to blame and there’s nothing we can do about it now.”

“It was your old blanket, we’ve had it for I don’t know how long, I feel terrible for it. I know I should have told you when it happened but I was terrified of how you might react.”

This gives me pause, I look down at him for a long moment, as if trying to see something I might have missed before. Has my behaviour, in any way, indicated that I might hurt him if something went wrong? It sends a chill down my spine that he might think I could hurt him for something like that.

“I’ve never hit you, Eoghan. I never will. I’m not like that and we both know it.” I know my voice is a little strained but it’s hard to wrap my mind around the fact that he seems to believe I could hurt him. It hurts.

“I’m sorry.” He murmurs the words so softly I barely hear them. He hugs the blanket tighter to himself before his arms are around my waist and he’s just holding onto me as if the world was about to end. I’m not sure what to think.

The blanket looks wonderful at the foot of the bed, even in black. It doesn’t change how I feel about it. It’s an old blanket, it’s been with me for a while and that’s all there really is to that one.

We’ve had a long talk about this whole afraid I’d hurt him thing. I still don’t know where that fear came from but at least I think I made myself clear about how I felt. I have a hard time still wrapping my mind around the fact that somehow he thought I would hurt him. It makes no sense to me, none at all.

As we settle in bed, he huddles against my side and I can’t help but think back to our beginnings. It was so long ago. I still was learning to control my gift for the better part when we first met. I had that bracelet my brother had made for me, that special stone but my gift still was slightly beyond my control on bad days. I know we have bad days when I first allowed him at my side but I never once raised my hand to harm him. I might have yelled, no, I know I yelled but I never once raised my hand.

I’ll have to make it up to him somehow. Show him that I’ll never let harm come to him, especially not if it comes from me. This blanket means a lot to me but not half as much as he does. If somehow the whole place had to be left behind, I’d leave the blanket behind but I’d do all I could to keep him with me. I’d even leave Adela behind if he was the only one I could save. I know he has a hard time believing that one, or he would if I told him.

I pull him closer to me and I close my eyes. I feel his breathing warm and steady against him but I know he’s not asleep yet.


He shifts just lightly, barely and he opens his eyes from his spot against my shoulder. I pull him closer still, as if I could somehow merge us together. Maybe that would be the best solution if it was possible at all. I turn my head and kiss his forehead since that is the closest part of him I can reach. He closes his eyes again and nuzzles my shoulder.

“I love you. You’re the only true important part of my life. I don’t know why you seem to be afraid that I’d react badly over this old blanket. I’ve had it for a while and it is important but nowhere near as important as you. If I could only have one thing near me to the end of time I’d pick you because you complete me.”

He sniffles lightly against my shoulder and I sigh. My lips quirk just faintly and I just press another kiss to his forehead. I know he loves me. I know he adores me to no end and would do anything for me. I feel the same way about him, I just wish he wasn’t afraid.

under control

I really shouldn’t be finding this situation amusing but I can’t help myself. He keeps on saying he has it under control but I just know that’s not the case. He’s just not wanting any help but it’s hard to resist. I’m mostly amused by the sight that greets me every time I step towards his work room. Note to myself, install a door to his work room just like the one I have up at the top of the stairs that lead into the garden. A split wooden door where bottom and top can be open separately and a screen door. That way he can have the top part open but still not have any visit from the cat-kind where they can make a mess of his room as they’ve done just now.

“Are you sure I can’t help you, Quentin?” I’m amazed at how well I can keep the amusement out of my voice. My studio is scared, I’m the only one who gets to clean it when a mess gets made. I don’t really want him to help me in those cases because I know where everything goes. In the case of his working room, it’s more or less brand new. It was one of those rooms we still hadn’t found a use for, we still have a couple of those. He recently found an old loom and oh it called to him so we got it. It took us a couple of hours to set it up but once it was set up it was like he was a new Quentin.

He looks at me from the tangled mess of yarn and string and he sighs but he still manages to smile just slightly. “Have it all under control, I’m almost done.”

I guess he is almost done, the mess was much bigger than this fifteen minutes ago. “I thought we could install doors similar to the ones I have to get into the garden, would that be all right?”

He blinks once from his mess and stops the gentle tugging he was doing at one particular line. He’s considering the offer as it is. He nods and goes back to his tugging and that’s all the answer I need.

I close the door again to leave him to his untangling and I shake my head. Cats and threads, I’m not really surprised in the end but I guess it is a lesson learned. I don’t know who left the door open as is. I was pretty sure it was closed after we’d finished setting the loom up but we were wrong. I’m more than a little certain it won’t happen again. Lesson very much learned.

It is nearly noon when he joins me again. In the back of the house I hear the sound of that one particular door click shut and locked. For now I guess it is safer. We’ll get the doors delivered in a few more days and set those up. Then he’ll be able to work in his room without having to worry about being interrupted by any sudden cat attacks. These guys really love their yarn.

We try to keep them busy with all the toys, towers and wall-shelves but at times I guess it just isn’t enough. I play with them every day, it’s a bit of a routine. I first take care of the garden, then I wash up as need be to get most of the dirt off of me as it might be. Then I head into their room and I get them running. The cat patio we had planned was delayed but I’m going to bring it back up to the surface. It would get them outside as they might want with no real way of escaping. All of them still have their claws but we’re worried about what might get to them outside in the woods.

His hair is a mess when he drops to sit at the table and I chuckle gently before excusing myself and wandering off to our room to snag my brush. I don’t like the way his works and I feel like I’m always tugging on knots when all I’m trying to do is brush his hair through.

When I settle behind him and gently set the brush to his hair, he sighs and closes his eyes. “I was thinking, we could see about getting that cat patio set up outside. We were thinking about it when it was still just Areli and Lavi but we got sidetracked with a lot of different things. We could bring the plans back out, make sure it’s big enough for all of them and talk to Eoghan, he probably knows someone who could get it set up without too much of a problem.”

He nods, just a small little thing since I’m brushing his hair but I know that’s a ‘yes’ so I put a little mind-note on the idea and I continue running the brush smoothly through his hair. When I come to a tangle I undo it slowly and carefully. Before too long his hair is as tangle free as it will ever be. I put the brush down and wrap my arms about his shoulders, my cheek resting on top of his head.

A few murmured words escape him, they’re so soft I can’t make out what he’s saying but it doesn’t much matter. He’s relaxing against me and that’s the point of this all. I want him as relaxed as possible. I know how frustrating it can be to untangle yarn and thread, even if it more than likely is part of your make. I did want to help him but he made it clear that he wanted to take care of it on his own. His weaving room is off limit to me and I understand that.

After several moments spent simply relaxing, I release him gently and I go to put the brush back into our bedroom where it belongs. When I come back, he’s moved from his chair into the kitchen and I shoo him back to that chair while I prepare us a slight lunch. I’m pretty sure he must be close to starving right now and I can’t have that.

A slight soup, a few crackers, some bites of saucisson to go with that and we’re set. I could have gone for the simplest meal of tomato soup and grilled cheese but we’ve had that the day before and I try not to repeat meals too often.

He smiles at me when I set our meal down on the table and I settle next to him instead of across from him. It’s easier to share our meals when we’re side by side, even if it means that we can’t gaze away at one another. I think it’s sweet when it’s in movies but it’s inconvenient when you’re really trying to share a meal. Reaching out across the table to feed someone some food when there are chances that you might drop that food is just sort of sad.

Usually he’ll sit at the end of the table and I’ll sit at an angle from him, it’s our usual position but I don’t know, today just seemed closer to a side by side thing.

I can see slight bags under his eyes and I worry. I’ve been sleeping well enough lately and I tend to wake at the drop of a pin, I should have noticed if he wasn’t sleeping well. I reach out slightly and brush his cheek. He looks up to me, an unspoken question in his eyes. I brush the pad of my thumb ever softly under his eyes with a soft frown but he only shakes his head lightly, leaning against my palm for a moment.

“I’m just tired. I was so excited about the loom when we were done setting it up that I’ve barely slept so it’s my own fault, don’t worry.”

I nod and kiss his cheek. We don’t lie to one another. At least, that’s how I see things and I don’t like to him and I believe that he doesn’t like to me. I don’t think it would do us much good if we were to do that anyway. “How about a nap after we’ve eaten a bit? I’ll rub your back?”

Back rubs help him sleep more easily, I’ve learned. His eyes brighten up and I settle back to eat a little, share our food. If I can help him sleep then it’s all the better, it gives me life a little bit more purpose.